Well, I’m alive. Today was supposed to be that whole doomsday thing and well the world hasn’t ended so that’s great. In other news I’m now snug at home with Jeremy to be my bitch on the recovery front, a furkid who is lovable yet a pain in the ass, and two types of pain killers should I need them.

So where to really begin this post op story on my laparoscopy, the results, and how I’m feeling during the recovery period. It’s always one of those awkward moments where you’re like, “Well where do I begin when I want to talk about something else that was before the specific event?” so why not start there?

Jeremy and I left late Thursday afternoon on our three hour drive to the town where my surgery was going to be. Navigating by awesome OnStar we arrived and checked in at the Hilton hotel. Yes, the HILTON! I felt like a total rich bitch as we road the glass elevator to our floor. I fell in love with our room and the king size bed that I immediately jumped on and let out squeals of delight. We had TWO 40″ LCD TVs in our room. Totally cool when you can bring along a game system and hook it up to one TV while still being able to watch TV on the other. Sometimes paying that extra $20.00 is worth it to upgrade hotels, especially when they use high thread count sheets. I now know what people mean when they say they can actually feel the difference. It’s so true!

After scouting the layout we set off for some dinner to feed the starving gremlins in our stomach. Olive Garden was an obvious choice. If you haven’t tried their Eggplant Parmigiana, do it! Don’t let the word eggplant turn you off. The dish was wonderful and  did not taste vegetable-ly at all.

Fast forward to our pre-op visit the next day… also known as “the scary this is the worst we could find” visit. Truthfully the pre-op visit left me feeling relaxed because I knew what to expect and what would happen during each scenario. We also discussed what to do after the laparoscopy, which was one of those MEH things as always. RESULTS NOW PLEASE?!

Worst case scenario was that my uterus was beyond repair and he’d pull out without touching it. Others included one or two blocked tubes that the HSG somehow missed that would need to be removed rather than repaired due to the risk of scaring over worse. We discussed how if that was the case then remove them if it gave us a better chance. Apparently if you have one blocked tube it can be toxic to the environment due to fluid build ups. If they removed both there was still an option of IVF. Best case scenario was that he found nothing, which while good is also a put off because it leaves you wondering what the hell the problem is.

As surgery time came I found myself less nervous and more in a “lets get this over with because I’m starving” mood. Apparently I’m a total foodie.  After pumping my IV with some anaesthesia and wheeling me under some warm blankets to a freezing operating room the last thing I remember is moving from my bed to the operating bed and watching them prep instruments. I don’t remember falling asleep or anything.

I’ve come to the conclusion now that I’ve been in recovery for a day that the worst part of this surgery was the waking up. That not remembering thing carried over to when consciousness first hit my brain. I couldn’t remember where I was or how I got there. I knew I was in a hospital and that I couldn’t sense Jeremy around me. I began to panic and my upper body started shaking to try and wake myself up more. When I finally found my voice, the first thing I asked was, “Is my Husband okay? Jeremy. Is he okay?!”. Truth be told I panicked. I was scared to death that maybe we got in a wreck and that he was hurt. The nurses reply, “Oh that’s so sweet! He’s fine. He should be the one worried about you.”. A few seconds after that I began to remember why I was there.

Scariest thing ever and the worst part of the surgery. I finally managed to stop myself from shaking and got my breathing under control so that the monitor also stopped freaking out. It’s funny at the same time because I remember asking for Jeremy when I first woke up after getting my wisdom teeth removed as well. Apparently it really goes to show how much I love him in some way. That or I’m a total co-dependent bitch.

The surgery itself apparently went fine. They found nothing and thus repaired nothing. My uterus and girl parts appear normal on the outside. I haven’t really had any pain with the exception of some minor “did I sleep wrong” shoulder pain, side stitches like I ran too much if I move wrong, and a belly button that feels like an angry cat scratched me. Apparently all of this is normal due to the gas they pump you with, as well as the fact that you get a camera shoved in a belly button hole that moves around a whole bunch. My other two incisions don’t hurt at all.  I’ve only taken two pain pills between last night and tonight. Not for pain but so I could sleep and get rid of the shoulder ache. It wasn’t even the heavy dose pain pill either but the mild. The one pain in the ass thing though is the fact that I’m bloated. Zipping my pants to leave today was a total bitch. I’ve NEVER felt this bloated in my life.

So where do we go from here? Well obviously I have to heal up for the next two weeks they said. Then come June or July, depending on how we feel and what we’re doing we’ll give my OBGYN a call to help us out with insuring ovulation and try on our own. After a few rounds we’ll go into more low-tech medical options like IUI’s, then IVF. Your typical things. The goal however from here on out is to  not put so much hardcore emphasis on trying. Yes we want a kid, but I’d like us to be able to focus on US as well. Things we’d like to do, and not just TTC all the time.

Even though it feels like we’ve gotten no where and are back to square one it was a really nice visit overall.  I enjoyed that I was able to stick to my vegetarian diet the whole time we were gone, the awesome lady who took care of our room and placed Wolfie on our pillow after she made the bed, the barista who made me perfect iced white mochas, browsing Best Buy and trying out the T3 and T2i Rebel cameras, forgetting the internet world because I wasn’t going to spend $10.00 for a 24 hour pass at the hotel, and feeling like a rich bitch for once in my life.

Before I forget and for future reference to anyone else who may have this surgery, be prepared after surgery to look like you’ve pissed blue dye when you go to the bathroom. If you’re really lucky you’ll have a stained blue ass like me. :P