You can thank the OBGYN that did my IUI today for the blog title. She was awesome and almost makes me want to consider switching from my current one to her.  I think she was more excited about the fact I had ovulated for the first time than I was. She was so eccentric and bubbly happy, which kept the mood light while the procedure was being preformed.

The IUI process was actually pretty quick, and much like a pap smear. It was just a little more weird feeling and sounding than anything. However, despite the odd feelings/sounds I was pretty relaxed. I’m oddly becoming more and more comfortable with having doctors view and mess with me. I think it has a lot to do with how they do it and the ‘vibes’ they send out. Someone who can laugh and make you laugh while making you feel comfortable is awesome. While the insemination was going on the Doctor and nurse joked with us about pulling over on our two hour drive home to have sex and how they can even give us a official doctors note. Apparently they had a couple who pulled over on their way home and while having sex the guy broke her water at 36weeks.

“I know this is voodoo but place your feet in the middle and we’re going to have you to continue laying down for 10 minutes.” is what alerted me that everything went well and was over. I felt calm and listened to Jeremy play his DS beside me. Perhaps things would just work out. The doctor said she had a great feeling about us and that holidays seem to be the days when people get pregnant. Before we were leaving she smiled and gave us thumbs up and said, “Now, be sure to go home and have lots of sex!”

Now that we’re home I’ve just felt tired from cutting my sleep so much this week and I can definitely feel my right ovary area. The backside of my hip is also sore from the HCG trigger shot. In the end though I’m sure it was all worth it. Even if the IUI doesn’t take and we don’t get pregnant this cycle, at least now we know what it takes to make me ovulate. That is the hardest part of all.

Now, I’m going to go watch TV and try not to drive myself crazy during the two week waiting period before I can pee on a stick and see if the lines show up. It’s going to be hard. I have a good feeling about this.  Just need to keep off of this site and take it easy. With that said, here are my last parting thoughts…

GO SPERMIE GO! YOU CAN DO IT! CATCH THE EGG!

Also thinking PINK!!!

In case you haven’t already guessed it by my tweet of “OMG”, my follicle was up to size! It went from being 15mm to 19.71mm, (averaged from three different numbers, two being over 20mms!) in two days. The lining of my uterus was 9mm and the Ultrasound Tech said that it’s a great sign. So I was pretty fucking excited and happycatz. I went in hoping that it grew, but I didn’t expect it to.

Can you imagine watching the Tech move her little wand toward my right ovary and seeing this big black spot a little more than half the size of my ovary and watching her measure in anticipation only to see her smile and say, “Looks like we have one. You have one follicle up to size. Yours is 19.71mm and they say 20mm is a mature follicle. 19.7 basically 20. Lets call the doctor.” I swear I think I died. I was in disbelief but so happy.

My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I got dressed and couldn’t stop telling Jeremy how excited I was that my follicle grew up to size. Just how awesome it was that I can in fact get my body to work to some degree. Since the Tech left the results up on the screen I took out my phone and took some shots, which is when Jeremy said, “I can tell you’re already forming a blog about this.” While I was just taking photos for myself, I was in fact quite excited to come write my results down.

I’m sure some people find it weird that I’m so excited just to ovulate, but seriously people it’s a big deal! In the two years that Jeremy and I have been trying I haven’t ovulated once.

Tomorrow I get to wake up hella early once again and we get to drive for two hours to the office to do the IUI. I had my trigger shot of HCG today to insure that the ovulation process does happen. It didn’t hurt like I expected it to. Jeremy says I didn’t flinch which is great I suppose.

After tomorrow I’ll be playing the two week waiting game before I can pee on a stick to see the result. I’m really hoping that this will be it. So if you wouldn’t mind keeping your fingers crossed and sending me some good luck dust that would be super.

I almost threw the clock this morning. It was annoyingly doing that beeping thing at 5′oclock this morning. Who in their right minds sets the alarm for 5:00a.m.?! The sun isn’t even awake yet! It took me a few minutes to realize that I was the one to set it because I actually did need to roll/stumble my way to the bathroom for a shower, so that maybe I would wake up. To add insult to injury Jeremy turned the bathroom light on as I was on my way to remove the towel from the top of the shower rod. Anyone who is not a morning person knows that this is instant stabby pain to your brain and the offender needs a hot french fry to the eye. I was BLINDED. Ugh.

That aside I am quite pleasant after I shower and get that chance to wake up. After settling a round of “this is my side of the car and this is your side of the car…STOP TOUCHING THE CONTROLS!” we were on our way to the Doctors, for yet another mid-cycle ultrasound. I swear I’m starting to become way to comfortable with ladies bearing cold gel covered wands going for my innerds. Seriously though, the ultrasound techs are quite nice and take the time to explain what they are doing, what they are looking for, and let you know what they find.

Unfortunately my results were only slightly better than last time. Most of my follicles were in the 9-10mm range, but I did have one 15mm one on my right ovary. This possibly explains the slight pain twinges I’ve been feeling in that area. While I am sad that the highest round of Clomid didn’t magically make my follicles HUGE, I’m just happy that I jumped from the biggest being 10mm to 15mm.

Apparently my Doctor thinks this is wonderful as well, because I go back for yet another ultrasound on Saturday to see if the follicle has grown any. It is possible that I am a late ovulator. If it does grow bigger by Saturday I get to be stabbed with a needle to trigger the ovulation process and will go in on Monday morning for the IUI process. If it’s not bigger than well… I guess they’ll tell me where to go from there.

I’d like to hope that it will grow, but as Jeremy said, I don’t want to blow my balloon up too big with hope and have it pop leaving me with only dissappointment. I don’t like being sad, and he hates it when I cry about how it’s not fair that I have a stupid body when teenage whores can fall on a dick and get pregnat with kids they don’t even want. Despite all of that, I’m just happy that one of my follicles grew 75% of the way and it wasn’t another cycle where the dosage of Clomid didn’t do anything. Does that make sense? Hope for the best but expect the worst I suppose.

Once again today did not go as planned. I managed not to cry as I heard the ultrasound technician say that it didn’t appear that I had any follicles up to size. Instead I felt crushed, once again. Sad that my body is messed up. I was really hoping that they would be bigger than they were. Some small sign that the Clomid was doing it’s job, but just needed another bump in dosage to push it over the edge. Not upping the dosage by 50mg and then having the largest follicle grow to be 1mm bigger than the biggest last time.

I was hurt and upset for the first hour after finding out the news, but I’m alright now. It’s just that initial shock and hurt of Why me? What did I do wrong? and worry that Jeremy would be disappointed in me as well. Such a silly thing to worry about, but I do. I also just hate feeling like I’ve failed somehow. It’s hard to keep reminding myself that as hard as it is now, it could be much worse. I could have no ovaries and no chance at all of conceiving. I’m just your typical Generation Y who wants instant gratification. Eventually things will all come together for us.

Cole says I need to feed my ovaries Chia pet food while Jessi says that it should only be 10 more months now before the follies are up to size. XD

So where do we go from here? Well, it’s basically the same story as last time. Another Provera/Clomid platter with a higher dose of the Clomid and an IUI if the follies are up to size. I’m unsure what will happen if this next round doesn’t work. Instead of worrying about that I plan to kick some butt in Mario Kart and enjoy my weekend.

Today did not go as planned. I did not leave all happycatz and bouncing off the walls like I had planned. Instead I felt crushed and hopeless trying to hide it and not cry as I walked to my Doctors Office. Apparently my follicles did not grow to size. The biggest follicle on my left ovary was 8mm and the biggest on my right was 9mm. They should be up to 20mm in order to have the whole ovulation process go on. Instead they are lagging and I continue to feel broken. I suppose it could be worse and there could be no follicles, but it’s hard to say, “Hey it’s okay we’ll try again” and not be at least a little hurt that it didn’t go my way this time around.

After some discussion with my Doctor and getting the results of Jeremy’s semen analysis, I’m back on the Provera/Clomid combo platter. I started the Provera tonight and if it follows the same schedule as the last round I should have a period on the 22nd. Once again on cycle day 5 I begin the Clomid. Except it’s 100mg this time around. Hopefully my follies will grow and mature to size this time.

I was pretty shocked after getting my instructions for the combo that she went right into highly recommending doing  intra-uterine insemination (IUI) based on the results of my own body and the semen analysis, as well as the amount of time we’ve been trying to conceive already. Apparently while we could get pregnant on our own it will be harder. I already knew that. Still the shock of her actually recommending an IUI when most doctors hesitate until after the fifth round of Clomid was a lot. I was happy and sad at the same time.

After some discussion with Jeremy and a lot of thinking on my own we’ve decided to go ahead and go the IUI route. We want a family. We’ve been trying for over a year and are ready. It’s a bummer that we can’t just hit the sheets and pee on a stick to see that big fat positive, but it could be worse. I could be completely infertile and Jeremy could have horrible sperm.

Apparently Jon and Kate went the IUI route because she had PCOS as well. They wound up with sextuplets. I laugh with Jeremy about if that happened to me. His response, “I don’t care. That would be awesome. I want like eighteen anyways.” Oh husband. I love him.

So yeah. That was my day. While I’m sad that it didn’t go my way I look forward to the next try and hope that it will work out.